


A Piece of Mind

by xyvesoulx



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Ha Sooyoung - Freeform, Jung Jinsoul - Freeform, Lipves is a couple here, Super angsty, Superpowers kind of, Yves - Freeform, Yvesoul Endgame, for a short amount of time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:33:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22763275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xyvesoulx/pseuds/xyvesoulx
Summary: Jinsoul finds it hard to love someone like Sooyoung. But not because there is anything wrong with the beautiful and loving Ha Sooyoung. But because Jinsoul isn’t your ordinary girl
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul
Comments: 7
Kudos: 58
Collections: YVESOUL





	A Piece of Mind

* * *

Have you ever been in a situation where not only your mind is telling you no, but your friends are probably telling you no as well? And yet you still keep doing it. Not because you want to, but because your heart is too tangled up in that word. You know the one..? 

**LOVE.**

No matter how many times her friends told her that this girl was just no good for her, Sooyoung didn’t listen. Because no matter what, she loved Jinsoul. Even when she would date other people. Sooyoung would wait for her. It was obviously one-sided, and although it hurt, Sooyoung couldn’t stop herself. 

This was someone she had liked since high school. Seeing Jinsoul with guys was pretty painful for her. But she still never lost hope, mainly because Jinsoul claimed to be bisexual. She had never kissed a girl, or done anything with them. She found them attractive though, and didn’t seem put off by the idea of dating one. But damn was she really into guys. Specifically guys that didn’t go to our school. She was fond of dating apps. 

She was always excited to meet new people. New faces were much better than the ones she’d see at school everyday. Jinsoul was… Jinsoul. Everyone loved her. She got good grades. She had a pretty clean image. She was obsessed with having one. Another reason why she never dated guys on campus. 

The two girls went to different colleges. Not too far away from each other, but far enough that they couldn’t see each other as much as they did back in high school. Sooyoung was an art major. Jinsoul was more on the writing side. She’d often read Sooyoung the poems she’d write over call just before bed. They’d go weeks without speaking sometimes, but whenever they spoke again it was like nothing ever changed. 

To help pay for her classes, Sooyoung worked two jobs. She wasn’t sure how she balanced it, but she did. On weekends she worked at a restaurant, on weekdays, she worked at the art store about 15 minutes away from her house. She still lived with her parents. Or should she say, _parent_. Her parents had been divorced for 3 years now, and even though they weren’t on bad terms, it still caused a rift. She still saw her dad every now and then. 

He was the reason she was so invested in art. Her mother was more into music. When she was younger, her mother would show her how to play piano. She taught herself how to play guitar. She still played every now and then, if she wasn’t too busy painting some random person for about 20 bucks. 

Sooyoung wouldn’t classify Jinsoul as a childhood friend. To be quite frank, they’ve only known each other for about 3 years. But in that short amount of time, they had grown close, (thanks to their similar friend group). Despite being quite introverted, Sooyoung had another flaw. She was clingy. Too clingy for her own good. 

At least her friends didn’t mind too much. But it seemed to put quite a strain on most of her relationships. And what she hated the most about it, is that she couldn’t help it. Sometimes she didn’t even realize it. 

Another one of her flaws, was that she liked to get shitfaced drunk whenever she attended college parties. Which resulted in Jiwoo coming to pick her up late in the night to get her home. Which was quite a task when you were sneaking your drunk friend into their home and trying to not wake their family. She’d stay until the morning, taking care of Sooyoung who would get sick from the amount of alcohol she would intake the night before. 

“I’m never doing this again.” She’d groan, as Jiwoo held her hair back while she leaned over the toilet. But Jiwoo knew she would go right back to it. She always did. 

Jiwoo would always ask her why she drank so much. She didn’t need to get so drunk to have fun. 

But Sooyoung always laughed when she said that. She wasn’t drinking to have fun. She was drinking to just simply feel nothing. Feeling nothing, was better than feeling everything. It was hard to explain though, so she just lied to the other girl. “You’re right. I don’t need to get so drunk to have fun.. but I do it anyway. Besides— it’s free drinks. I like to take advantage of the few free things in life.” 

Jiwoo sighed, watching as Sooyoung moved over to the sink. She could tell something was off with Sooyoung, but she knew she’d never tell her. She never did. That’s just the way she was. “Is everything okay?” She questioned, and she could see the hesitancy in Sooyoung before she decided to answer. The older girl rinsing her mouth with water, and throwing some on her face as well. 

She turned the water off and looked at Jiwoo with a strained smile. “Yes.” She blinked. “Everything is just fine.” 

But everything was far from fine.

* * *

“You’d think she’d get tired of fucking so many guys don’t you think?” Sooyoung overheard the kids beside her talking. She was curious as to who they were talking about, but she also hated stupid college kid drama. They weren’t in high school anymore, and yet everyone still seemed to have the mindset that they were. 

“I don’t think she’s fucking him. They just started dating..” She overhead another guy say. He seemed a bit quieter than the rest, almost as if he didn’t want to be there. And almost as if he was defending the girl they were speaking about.

“Well who knows— maybe we’re next in line to get a piece of that ass right?” One of the guys high fived his friend. 

Sooyoung’s heart fell when she managed to hear a familiar name. “But her friend Jinsoul— one fine ass bitch. I heard she gets around too.” 

“Also… not true.” The guy spoke up again. “She’s been with the same guy for like a month now. Come on— we’re all grown here.. let’s not spread rumors.” 

They all laughed at the guy trying to be reasonable. “Dude this isn’t fucking high school musical. Have some fun. You’re killing the vibe.” He slammed his hand against the guy’s back and smiled. 

Hearing people refer to Jinsoul as a “fine ass bitch”, didn’t sit well with Sooyoung. Jinsoul was attractive. Yes. Anyone with eyes could see that she was, especially when she was constantly rocking a cute mini skirt and a tight top. It was hard to ignore someone like that. She was stunning. Not only was she stunning, but she was sweet. Too sweet to be talked about the way that she was at times. 

Sooyoung was sure she’d treat her much better than this. Because Jinsoul was so much more than that. But upon hearing about this boyfriend, she wondered why Jinsoul never even mentioned him to her. Or why she hadn’t seen anything about him. She checked her Instagram and Twitter feed, and there wasn’t much on either. On twitter there were just a few cryptic tweets that could be just literally suggestions or something to be taken literally.

One tweet said: _Sitting by a fire while your special someone holds you in their arms >>>> _

She checked facebook, which was probably where she went wrong for a while. Considering she never went on facebook due to the fact her family literally infested the damn site. She preferred to not see them every waking moment of every single day. Nor was she interested in her family's thoughts and drama. They were often very negative, and Sooyoung decided to avoid getting into another fight with a family member over something crucial. 

But going on there flipped her upside down. It’s where Jinsoul would post her boyfriend the most. Directly speaking about him and even uploading photos. As badly as Sooyoung wanted to be supportive, she felt sick. Like she would throw up if she saw another picture of this guy holding Jinsoul from behind all cutely. She closed the app, but apart from being slightly offended that Jinsoul hadn’t told her. She felt hurt.

Stupid crush. _Stupid_ feelings. 

But it seemed as if fate was on her side that day, because Jinsoul had arrived at her campus with a few friends. She had many friends at Sooyoung’s college too. Besides, it was much smaller than Jinsoul’s, so it was a lot easier to make friends over here. It was such a small community. Everyone mostly knew each other. 

“Sooyoung!” She heard someone call out, and if Sooyoung could describe the way her heart felt when she noticed who it was. She wouldn’t be able to find the proper words to say. When her eyes landed on Jinsoul’s, it seemed as if she would go blind from how brightly she shined. She was like the sun, in multiple ways. 

And Sooyoung wasn’t prepared for the day Jinsoul would soon become the literal sun, too hot to touch and too hot to get close to without burning to a crisp. 

“Look at my art girl. I haven’t spoken to you in days!” She complained, pulling Sooyoung in for a hug. She reciprocated, of course, taking in the flowery scent that radiated off of her. Her dark hair silky and glimmering in the light as if she just came from filming some shampoo commercial. 

“Well I texted you a few days ago and you never replied..” Sooyoung said awkwardly, and Jinsoul’s smile slowly faded away. 

“Ah— right.. something must’ve come up. You know I’d never ignore you purposely Sooyoung.” She smiled again, making Sooyoung smile along with her. That was reassuring. To know she wasn’t purposely being ignored anyway. 

“Right.. are you hungry? Do you want to grab something to eat?” She suggested, and Jinsoul smiled.

“Yeah of course.. let me just let my friends know at least.” She grabbed Sooyoung’s hand, and god did Sooyoung absolutely hate her. But just because of the way she made her feel with just a simple look or touch. She quite literally dragged Sooyoung over to her friends, the girl hiding behind Jinsoul slightly as she smiled and waved at the others looking back at her. She recognized a few of them, but some of them were definitely new in the group. 

Jungeun and Heejin were there. Alongside her girlfriend Hyunjin. Sooyoung and Hyunjin often got along well, to an extent. But mainly because neither of them spoke to each other much. It was just a mutual thing. But they did enjoy each other’s company. Heejin attended Sooyoung’s college, and although they were friends, and also taking the same major, they didn’t speak too much. Probably because Sooyoung left campus the second her classes were over. 

She never stayed behind to chat. And when she did, it was most likely because she didn’t have to rush into work directly after her classes. 

“I’m going to hangout with Sooyoung for a bit— so if anyone needs me just call or text.” She informed, before swiftly taking Sooyoung’s hand again. 

“Don’t stay out too late darling!” Jungeun jokingly said, and it made Sooyoung blush. Was Jungeun making a joke about how this was practically a date? A friendly date of course… But Sooyoung would definitely get her home on time. 

One of Sooyoung’s favorite things about allegedly not knowing about Jinsoul’s boyfriend, is that she actively avoided speaking about him around Sooyoung. So for the most part, she had her full attention. She rarely looked at her phone, her eyes trained onto Sooyoung whenever she spoke about something. Sooyoung never spoke to strangers. But when it came to her friends, she could go on and on. Like now.

Except Jinsoul wasn’t just her friend. She was her crush. “You’re adorable..” Jinsoul randomly said, cutting Sooyoung off as she spoke about color theories. “Like— all of this… you seem really passionate about it.” She pointed out, and Sooyoung chuckled.

“Well yeah. It is my major after all.” She calmly responded. And to be fair, she usually hated being cut off, even though she jokingly did it to her friends from time to time. But it was Jinsoul, and she didn’t mind it. Not one bit. 

“Do you think you could draw me one day?” 

And Sooyoung froze, swallowing hard as Jinsoul looked into her eyes. Blinking slowly as her pretty eyelashes batted in her direction. And her cute hands clasped together against her cheek. She felt ashamed, because honestly, if you opened any of her sketchbooks, you’d find an outlined drawing of Jinsoul in it. To be fair, Jinsoul was just… a masterpiece. To simply put it, she was art. 

“Uhh.. sure. Definitely, I can do that for you. I’ve always been a fan of your features. It’d be fun to draw you.” She said that so casually that she hadn’t even realized exactly what she said, and how excited Jinsoul got.

“A fan of my features? Really?” She questioned, leaning forward and causing Sooyoung to slightly panic. Her eyes darted around as she nervously tapped her foot up and down. 

“Uh yeah— they’re just very nice..” She sheepishly replied, avoiding the intense gaze from the girl across from her. 

“Is that so? What’s so nice about them?” What was Jinsoul getting at here? Honestly.. what did she want? Did she enjoy compliments? Or did she just simply enjoy compliments from Sooyoung. It could honestly be both. 

But to answer her question, a lot of things were nice about her features. Her cute round eyes, that were accentuated by a pretty brown color. Her long eyelashes that brought out the shape so perfectly. Her cute nose and her lips that were so inviting, especially when she applied that pink shade to them. Her perfect cheekbones and jawline that was carefully sculpted by whatever god was out there. Whoever it was, they sure did take their time on Jinsoul. She had gotten completely lost in thought, thinking about the things she’d say rather than just saying it to the girl in front of her. 

But she was sure if Jinsoul heard those things about her in such detail from the other girl, she’d probably side eye her. “I don’t know.. your features just really bring out your beauty is all.” She settled on saying, and Jinsoul laughed. 

“It took you that long to say that?” She sat back in her seat, not even realizing the effect she had on Sooyoung. Just being in her proximity made Sooyoung uneasy. 

And honestly, that could be a good or bad thing, depending on how you look at it or the context of the situation. “Were you expecting more?” 

“Maybe.” She tilted her head. “But thank you. Now I know that you stare at me enough to know my features make me beautiful.” She teased, and Sooyoung nearly choked on her water. But before she could even say anything their food had arrived, and the waiter totally disregarded Sooyoung having a coughing fit. 

“Enjoy ladies.” He smiled, walking away from the table. 

“God I was starving.. I’m glad you asked me to go out somewhere with you.” She said, exaggerating how good the food tasted when she took a bite. She seemed to have moved on from the topic before and going to the next thing.

“So how’s the family?” 

“Pretty good I’d say.”

“Hyejoo still trying to become a streamer?” Jinsoul questioned, feeling a little sad when Sooyoung began speaking. 

“Nah.. she kind of gave up on that. She seems to be really into creating games though. So maybe she’ll go into something like a developer career.” She said, instantly cheering up the other girl.

“Well— it’s good to see her going somewhere in life. Or at least attempting to.” 

“Well she doesn’t have much of a choice. My mom is pretty on us about that kind of stuff. She doesn’t want lazy kids around the house.” She explained. 

Jinsoul just frowned. She already knew what Sooyoung was thinking before she even spoke the words into the universe. “You don’t have to talk about it.” She softly assured, seeing Sooyoung’s eyes find hers as she lifted her head. She quickly changed the topic, seeing how grateful Sooyoung was to not be pressured into anything. “I’m serious about the drawing though. I’d like to hang it up on my wall in my dorm.” She smiled.

“Well whenever you have free time—“

“Next weekend.” Jinsoul quickly said. “I have free time next weekend.” And Sooyoung smiled. 

“Okay.. do you want to come down to the studio or like— my house?” She suggested cautiously. Sooyoung knew how awkward Jinsoul became around her family sometimes. She didn’t know why, but she supposed it was always awkward to be around your friends' parents. And Sooyoung just avoided going to Jinsoul’s home off of campus. 

Have you ever been around a bunch of loud, openly homophobic group of people? Well, that’s basically Jinsoul’s family. Which is why none of them know she’s bisexual. Only her friends know that little fun fact, and Sooyoung was pleased to know she was the first person Jinsoul ever told. She told her she felt like she could honestly trust her. It was a bonding moment for them. And even though they weren’t around each other daily, or they didn’t speak everyday, Sooyoung felt like Jinsoul was the closest person to her. Jiwoo was definitely a close second. 

“Your house is fine.. I’ll have to come like later in the evening if that’s okay?” 

“Yes.. of course, what—“

“Saturday evening. I’ll be there Saturday evening.” She answered before Sooyoung could even get the question out. “Don’t flake on me.” Jinsoul teased, and she felt a chill down her spine at the sharp look Sooyoung gave her.

At times, Sooyoung swore Jinsoul could see right through her. She read her so well. At times she’d even finish her sentences, or answer questions before Sooyoung could even finish asking it. It was weird, but Sooyoung was convinced it was just their chemistry. They had pretty good chemistry. After they had eaten, the girls walked down the busy streets for a while. Looking into the windows of stores. 

“Window shopping huh?” Haseul questioned as the two girls stepped inside of the pet store. She was tending to the white birds in the cage. Refilling their water and giving them fresh food. “Well— I don’t suspect you’ll be buying a little buddy today huh?”

“Nope. Just bored and wanted to look around.” She smiled, going in for a hug once Haseul closed the bird cage and locked it. 

“Those are doves.” She smiled, moving in between the two taller girls. “They were supposed to be getting picked up today. But it seems like the buyer either flaked out last minute, or their car broke down on the way here.” 

“Maybe they flaked.” Sooyoung assumed. 

“I’m hoping their car broke down. These doves need a home already.” She sighed. “They’ve been here for weeks. No one wants birds. They want fish and those smelly hamsters.” She rolled her eyes, and Jinsoul feigned offense.

“Hey now.. don’t be mean to my fish friends and the cute little fluff balls.” She defended, and Haseul just giggled as she checked the register. The door to the store opened, the bell above it ringing to let them know someone arrived. 

“I’ll come back to you guys in a second.” Haseul said, leaving from behind the counter, and moving to speak to the customer that just arrived. While she did that, the other two explored the store. Going directly over to the smelly hamsters. 

“Sooyoung they’re so cute!” Jinsoul beamed brightly at the glass that held the cute little fluff balls. Sooyoung didn't even notice she was smiling. Not at the hamsters, but at Jinsoul. Who looked much cuter than those balls of fur. And just as Jinsoul looked up, Sooyoung looked away. Almost as if the moment happened in slow motion. She could see the girl smiling softly as Jinsoul’s finger was slowly removed from the glass. 

“They are really cute.” Sooyoung finally said, slowly walking over to the snake habitats. It was asleep, but Sooyoung still enjoyed seeing the pretty color on the yellow snake. Jinsoul walked over to her to also look. Their arms brushed because of how close they were to each other. Sooyoung felt warmth in her chest at the close proximity of the other girl. But the blissful silence between them was soon killed by the sound of buzzing. It was Jinsoul’s phone, and when she pulled it out, Sooyoung tried to get a glimpse. Failing horribly. 

Jinsoul just smiled and put it back in her pocket. Trying to concentrate her attention back on Sooyoung, but it rang again. “I have to take this.. i’m sorry. He usually doesn’t call this much.” She said awkwardly, walking off. Sooyoung felt her heart drop when she remembered the “he” Jinsoul was referring to. What a way to ruin her mood.. 

Haseul was still busy with a customer, so Sooyoung just walked somewhere else in the shop. Thinking to herself and trying to ignore the feeling of nausea within her. She went over to the ferrets, smiling down at the long animal. When suddenly she heard Jinsoul calling for her. Usually she would look up, her heart would race, and she’d fight to hold back a smile. Jinsoul turned down an aisle and spotted her. “Ah— there you are.” She smiled, skipping over to the other girl.

But she could immediately sense the vibes were off. “Everything okay?” Jinsoul questioned, and Sooyoung looked up at her briefly and then quickly looked away. 

“Yeah.. I think I should head home soon.” She said, without looking at the girl in front of her. And Jinsoul immediately knew what was wrong. Even when Sooyoung didn’t outwardly say it. 

But she questioned her anyway. “Why?” 

“Oh I just have some homework I need to catch up on.” She lied. And it left a bad taste in Jinsoul’s mouth. But before she could say anything else, Haseul interrupted the both of them.

“Oh! Do you two need privacy?” She laughed, grabbing something from one of the shelves. Making Jinsoul extremely flustered as Sooyoung started whistling as she walked away. 

“We’ll be heading out now. Thank you Haseul.” Jinsoul smiled, running to catch up with Sooyoung. Who needed to feel a breeze on her burning hot face. She could hear Jinsoul behind her, so she quickly fixed herself up. Turning around and smiling. Her change in demeanor completely stopped Jinsoul in her tracks.

“I’ll walk you home.” Sooyoung insisted. And Jinsoul didn’t deny her that right. Instead ignoring the awkward exchange back at the pet shop. She scrambled to find something else to talk about. 

“So.. any major projects coming up?” Listening to the leaves being crushed beneath their feet, and the sounds of cars passing by. A few beeping whenever they recognized the girl beside her.

“No.. not really. I do have an exam coming up though. Which is why I gotta get home and study..” So maybe it wasn’t a complete lie. 

“Stupid brain..” She muttered, getting Sooyoung’s attention.

“What?” 

“I said good luck! You got this, seriously Sooyoung.” Jinsoul threw an arm around her waist. Snuggling up against her. And _god_ did it make Sooyoung weak in the knees.

* * *

Once Sooyoung walked Jinsoul to her dorm, the girl stood on the steps. Smiling down at Sooyoung. “Thank you for taking me home. I appreciate it. I wish I could do the same for you.” She smiled softly.

“One day.” Sooyoung smiled back, and was about to walk off. But she froze in place when Jinsoul leaned down to kiss her cheek. 

“Get home safely Sooyoung.” She smiled, before slowly turning around to go into her building. And Sooyoung was stuck there, placing a hand onto her cheek where Jinsoul left that burning hot kiss. It wasn’t anything big, but it was something to Sooyoung. 

Inside of the dorm, Doyeon looked down from the window, laughing as she held a newspaper in her hand. When she heard the front door open, she spoke. “You really know how to leave a girls’ head swooning huh?” She questioned, getting Jinsoul’s attention as she threw her things down onto the floor. 

“What are you talking about now?” Jinsoul sighed. Wondering what this troublemaker was onto now. She sat across from Doyeon as she removed her shoes. 

Doyeon just simply nodded her head in the direction of the window, making Jinsoul look out of it. And her heart dropped at what she saw. Sooyoung was still standing where she left her, smiling to herself before walking off. Doyeon just giggled, hearing her paper being torn in half as Jinsoul grabbed it from her. “What the fuck!” Doyeon shouted, still laughing to herself.

“It’s not funny Doyeon..” Jinsoul whined, falling over onto the couch. “What am I going to do about her..” 

“Well for starters stop leading her on—

“I’m not leading her on.” Jinsoul angrily said back. “I treat her like all of my other friends.” 

Doyeon laughed again. Standing up and walking over to the couch as well. “Do you kiss your other friends on the cheek?” 

“Yes.” 

“Go out to eat with them?” 

“Yes.” 

“Call them cute and adorable and constantly compliment them while looking into their eyes?” 

“Well…” Jinsoul slowly responded. “That isn’t the point okay? I’m just being nice to her. We’re close friends Doyeon. That’s all it is.” She assured her, although she wasn’t too sure about it. 

“Does she know?” She started. “About—“

“No.” Jinsoul sat up quickly. “Nobody knows. Just you. And I plan to keep it that way. So keep your mouth _shut_.” She glared at Doyeon, before walking off. 

“Hey that was pretty hot!” She teased, hearing Jinsoul groan before shutting the bathroom door. But Doyeon knew they were much more than close friends. They just haven’t come to terms with it yet.

* * *

“She likes her? Really?” 

“I think the correct word would be… _loveeee~_.” Hyunjin teased, replying to Heejin’s question. Earning a smack on her arm. 

“Guys, I'm serious.” Heejin rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah she likes her. I think anyone with eyes can see that. Jinsoul definitely sees it. Probably just chooses to ignore it. For the greater good.” Jungeun said, getting everyone’s attention. She quickly sat up when she realized. “What?” She questioned.

“Nothing.. you just seem like a debby downer.. is all.” Heejin pointed out. “But whatever— hey maybe we should do something about it!” 

“Are we completely forgetting Jinsoul has a boyfriend? A really _nice_ boyfriend at that. And I don’t say that about men very often.” Yoojung chimed in. 

“Be quiet shorty.” Hyunjin said, earning a glare from the shorter girl.

“I didn’t say to make them break up or something. I’m just.. saying maybe they should talk about this all. Figure out their feelings.” She suggested.

“I don’t think so.” Jungeun disagreed. “I think Jinsoul is doing just fine, and we shouldn’t fuck it up for her because our friend likes her.” 

“Dude what’s your problem?” Lisa stood up, glaring down at Jungeun.

“Worlddddstar!!” Hyunjin shouted. 

“What are you talking about?” Jungeun replied. Realizing just how negative she was being in this situation.

“We know you’re horny and all. And want Sooyoung to fuck you. But you don’t have to keep trying to throw down every idea we have that could help her. Okay? Your attitude fucking stinks.” Lisa said angrily, making Jungeun stand up and get in her face. 

“You have _no_ idea what I want.” Jungeun said through gritted teeth. 

“Guys.” Heejin shakily said, watching as Yoojung got in the middle of them. 

“Look— we’re all friends here. Don’t fight okay?” She tried to calm them both down. But Jungeun had already felt attacked. She grabbed her bag and threw it over her shoulder.

“Do whatever you want. But don’t come crying to me when it does more damage than it does any good.” She spat, walking off quickly. Lisa just watched as she walked off, grabbing her things too. 

“Lisa don’t go..” Heejin quickly said, standing up. “We can change the topic or something.” 

Lisa shook her head quickly. “I think I need a moment.. I’ll talk to you guys later.” She said, leaving without another word.

“And then there were 3.” Hyunjin said, trying to ease the tension. Receiving a troubled smile from the girl beside her.

* * *

Jungeun wiped the tears from her eyes as she walked down the sidewalk back to her house. She felt humiliated. Not only did Lisa bring up something so personal, but she did it in front of her friends. Using a secret like that against her. She didn’t think some stupid high school leveled drama would make her friend reveal such a thing.

Jungeun had her eyes on Sooyoung since the beginning of the school year. She did a good job of hiding her feelings. Even when it hurt to see how infatuated Sooyoung was with Jinsoul. It's why she didn’t really hang out with just the two of them. Whenever they asked her to join them, she’d back down. Coming up with some lie as to why she couldn’t join.

_“Oh I just have a lot of work to catch up on.”_

_“I actually had plans already.. sorry guys.” She’d fake a sad smile._

_“I’m actually going to my friends baseball practice.”_

_“I think I’ll just stay here with the others.” She’d smile._

Lisa was the first to catch on. Confronting her after she gathered enough evidence. But she didn’t judge her. She made Jungeun feel comfortable enough to tell her what was on her mind. It was just something between the two of them. They never brought it up again really. Until moments ago, in a fit of rage. Jungeun must’ve really been nasty to get Lisa to throw that in her face. 

But regardless, she didn’t deserve to have something so personal thrown in her face. But honestly, she couldn’t make it more obvious that she was jealous. Her friends were trying to think of some way to get Sooyoung what she wants. It was pathetic. But she couldn’t help her feelings. Or how she chose to act on them. 

Jungeun completely avoided the group after that. Ignoring Lisa in particular whenever she’d try to get ahold of her. She still replied to Heejin and the others. But no face to face speaking in weeks. 

“You really struck a nerve huh?” Hyunjin questioned, eating peanuts for some odd reason. 

“I didn’t mean to.. I feel so horrible.” Lisa sadly said. “But she was just—“

“Being a bitch? Yeah. I know. Feelings make us act very out of character.” 

Lisa quietly sat in place. Not knowing what else to say as they waited for the others to join. “Wait did you know?” 

Hyunjin laughed. Flicking a peanut casing at Lisa. “I know everything. People don’t have to tell me things for me to know. I’m very observant.” 

“All this time I thought you were an empty headed idiot.” Lisa laughed.

“And all this time I thought you had a small forehead under those bangs until a few days ago.” She responded, tossing a peanut into her mouth. 

Lisa immediately placed her hand onto her forehead. The others joined them before she could even say anything else. Leaving Hyunjin with a sly smile on her face. 

“What are you two talking about?” Heejin questioned, leaning into Hyunjin. 

“Actually… we just finished.” Lisa said, staring at Hyunjin across the table.

* * *

Sooyoung sat in her chair, feet up on the desk as she sketched for what seemed like hours. She monitored the store from the back room. But it was pretty slow today. They’ve only had about 3 people come in, and it was slowly going on 5pm now. She placed her book down onto the desk when she heard the front door open. Emerging from the back to greet the customer.

But she was shocked to see Jungeun looking back at her. “Hi..” She softly said.

“Uh. Hi.. how are you Jungeun?” Sooyoung questioned. 

“Good. Good. And you?” She smiled, giving Sooyoung her full attention. 

“Doing as well as I can.” She answered honestly. Jungeun smiled at those words. It was nice to know she was doing okay. Sooyoung wore a denim jacket over her black crop top. Her jeans stopped just below her belly button. Jungeun hadn’t noticed she was staring for so long.

She felt dizzy at the sight. Suddenly looking up to see Sooyoung smirking back at her. “You like what you see?” 

Jungeun didn’t know where her confidence came from, but she was shocked by herself. “I do. I really do.” She said quickly, moving closer to Sooyoung.

“I’m assuming you came here for one thing.” Sooyoung whispered against her lips. 

“What would that be?” 

“ _Me_.” She said seductively, feeling Jungeun push her against the shelf. The sound of glass shattering not even bothering them. Jungeun quickly removed her denim jacket, eagerly pressing her lips against Sooyoung’s. Sooyoung pulled away, panting heavily.

“Come with me.” She said, grabbing Jungeun by the collar and taking her to the back where the office was. She couldn’t even breathe probably when Sooyoung lifted her up, placing her onto the desk and pulling her pants down. 

“Sooyoung—“ 

“Do you want me to stop?” Sooyoung asked her, sending chills down Jungeun’s spine as the cold air hit her exposed thighs.

“N-No.. just— I like you…” She confessed, and Sooyoung smirked, before getting down on her knees and placing herself in between Jungeun’s legs. It wasn’t long before Jungeun was gripping tightly into Sooyoung’s hair. 

“Sooyoung I–“ 

“Jungeun.” Sooyoung called. Getting her attention. “Are you okay?” 

“Jungeun!” Sooyoung clapped in her face, watching as Jungeun quite literally jumped away from the sound. Dropping her things in the process. Her back hit the shelf behind her, and she groaned in pain shortly after. “Are you alright?” 

“Um… I need to go!” Jungeun shakily said, grabbing the bag that she dropped. “It was nice seeing you— Sooyoung.” She swallowed hard, her face and ears extremely red at what she just imagined. Sooyoung tried to stop her, but she was too fast. 

Sooyoung wondered if she had done something wrong, before retreating to the office. She picked up her sketchbook once again, looking for where she left off. Her eyes scanned the sketch, a picture of a table with 5 girls sitting at it. One of them looking back towards the viewer. She sighed, before ripping the page from her book and tossing it into the trash can. 

When she looked back down, her heart faltered at the undone drawing of Jinsoul. She quickly recalled what happened almost 2 weeks ago, when she went over to Jinsoul’s place. They hadn’t really spoken much since then.

* * *

No you don’t have to do anything. Just… sit there and I’ll do all the work.” Sooyoung smiled.

Jinsoul laughed at that. “Well that’s no fun.. I want to help.” 

“Then smile or something. I don’t know.” Sooyoung suggested. 

_” I know all of your features anyway..”_ , She thought to herself. And just as she locked eyes with Jinsoul the other girl looked away. She seemed shyer now. She wasn’t as giddy and loud as she was when she first got here. But Sooyoung was too concentrated to really look into it much. Sitting in silence whilst she drawed wasn’t new to her. She did it all of the time. Her best artwork usually came from her mind racing when she was forced to pay attention to her inner thoughts.

“How are things with you and your boyfriend?” Sooyoung suddenly asked. She just needed to know. She still loved Jinsoul after all. Even when it hurts. 

Jinsoul shifted awkwardly in the bed. “Uhh it’s going great. I’m actually going to meet up with him a little later for dinner and a movie.” She smiled, forgetting who she was talking to for a brief moment. “How are things for you?” 

“Same old, same old.” Sooyoung responded. No malice in her tone as she completely ignored what Jinsoul said. She thought she’d have all day with Jinsoul. But not too long ago, she found out she didn’t. “Focusing on school.” She added. 

“Right.. May I take a look at what you’ve done?” She suddenly asked, standing up and walking over to Sooyoung. Whose hand began to shake nervously at how close Jinsoul was. Her captivating scent wrapping around the seated girl. Jinsoul moved Sooyoung’s arms, placing herself onto her lap and grabbing the book. “Wow! Sooyoung… this looks amazing!” She said proudly. Sooyoung really was talented. 

It was a shame her mother didn’t quite support the path she was taking. But she didn’t care. She was good at this, and her friends cheered her on whenever she needed it. Sooyoung just sat, unsure of where to even put her hands. Hesitating to even place them on Jinsoul. So she just sat, the pencil in her mouth as she kept her hands on the arms of the chair. “Do you think you’ll finish it today?” Jinsoul questioned, turning slightly in the seat and placing a hand behind Sooyoung. 

Sooyoung frowned sadly. “No unfortunately.. I’ve only done the outlines. There’s still a lot of detailing and shading that has to go into it all.” She informed, showing her areas she wanted to focus on. 

“So we’ll need another session?” 

“Yeah… sorry, I know you’re busy and all—.” 

“I can arrange that.” Jinsoul said, handing Sooyoung the book back. “Not sure when because I have some quizzes coming up, and about 3 essays due within the next 2 weeks..”

“It’s fine. Just let me know.” Sooyoung smiled, and Jinsoul pulled her in for a hug. Kissing her cheek as she was dangerously close to Sooyoung’s lips. She swallowed hard, quickly standing up and nearly making Jinsoul fall to the floor. 

“Sorry—“ She panicked. “Uh, I really have to pee.” She lied, walking out of the room without another word. She was ashamed by what she had to do when she went to the bathroom. Changing her underwear and returning back to the room. Jinsoul was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed. Waiting patiently for Sooyoung to return. The taller girl awkwardly smiled at her when they made eye contact, and Jinsoul had to keep herself from letting out a quick snicker. She instead smiled back, turning away from the poor girl. 

“You seem a little flustered. Everything okay?” 

Sooyoung laughed, waving her off. “Of course, I just had to use the bathroom, that’s all.” 

“Ah, did you change?” Jinsoul questioned, making Sooyoung freeze in her tracks.

“Did you change?” She asked cutely. “You know, the toilet paper roll. When I was in there it was running a bit low.” She pointed out. Which was true, it was low when she used it.

But Sooyoung let out a nervous laugh and a sigh of relief. She thought Jinsoul had caught onto what happened somehow. “Ah right! Of course.. toilet paper. Yeah, I did put a brand new one. Thanks for reminding me though.” She smiled cutely, moving to sit onto the bed beside the other girl. 

“Right… I should get going now. My boyfriend is here.” She broke the silence, standing up and heading out the room as Sooyoung followed behind. She walked her downstairs and out the door. 

“I’ll let you know when I’m free. Okay?” She smiled, pulling Sooyoung in for a hug. 

“Yeah. Definitely.” Sooyoung responded, smiling and waving at the girl as her ride waited for her outside. Sooyoung held the smile on her face until Jinsoul was gone, and shutting the door as her heart fell once again. 

“I didn’t know you had company.” Her mother suddenly said. “Why so sulky?” 

“Because her crush is leaving.” Hyejoo said from the living room, laughing when Sooyoung took off her slipper and threw it across the room at the girl.

“Just tired is all.” Sooyoung lied. “I’m going to go and finish some homework.” Her mother kissed her cheek as Sooyoung gave yet another fake smile.

**That next weekend**

Jinsoul managed to find some time for Sooyoung. Especially because she had fought her boyfriend recently. He seemed to be quite jealous of the attention Jinsoul got. Even though she didn’t even give other boys the time of day. 

But it led to a big fight, and it was clear she didn’t want to talk about it. So Sooyoung didn’t say a word. She wasn’t entirely sure what happened, but Jinsoul seemed a little more down than usual. Even though she tried her best to hide it. “Are you okay?” Sooyoung questioned, sitting onto the couch. 

“Yeah. Yeah i’m doing fine. Do you want something to drink?” She questioned.

“Water is fine. Thanks.” Sooyoung smiled, pulling out her things. Jinsoul returned with a glass of water for the other girl, and some tea for herself. She noticed how on edge Sooyoung seemed, so she tried her best to ease her. 

“How have things been with you?” 

Sooyoung looked up from her book. Smiling softly at the girl beside her. “I’ve been okay. The girls seem a little weird lately..” 

“Weird?” 

“Yeah. They seem very divided.” Sooyoung pointed out. “Jungeun hasn’t been hanging with them either..” 

Jinsoul sat quietly. They hadn’t really said much to her about it, if anything did happen. But then again she hadn’t been seeing them much lately. Because she was too occupied with her boyfriend. She felt guilty, but her silence was deafening at this point. “I’ll talk to Heejin when I see her.” She assured the girl. “The drawing looks really good Sooyoung.

“It should be done today hopefully. And then you can hang it up on your wall.” She teased.

“Maybe I’ll put it in a frame for the coffee table.” 

“Ah you’re kidding.” Sooyoung laughed, and Jinsoul playfully bumped her. 

Sitting close enough to Sooyoung that if she even moved an inch she’d probably elbow her side. And although Sooyoung was concentrating, she could still feel Jinsoul’s presence, and the eyes that watched each line she traced onto the paper. 

Was she being tested? 

Sooyoung tried to ignore it. Really she did. Jinsoul was always a fan of skinship, so this wasn’t anything new. It didn’t surprise Sooyoung. What surprised her, was the hand on her lower back, and the chin that rested atop her shoulder now. She inhaled deeply, staying firmly in her spot. Not moving an inch. Even when she could feel the warmth of Jinsoul radiating against her. She wanted to melt into the ground. Do anything but stay here and deal with this torture. But she didn’t. She stayed put. Turning to face the girl beside her. And to her surprise, Jinsoul wasn’t staring back. She was actually focused on what Sooyoung was doing.

Intrigued by her talent. But she noticed Sooyoung stopped, so her head slowly turned to the girl that looked back at her. And even though it hurt to look at her, someone so fragile, and in love, she couldn’t look away. And Sooyoung didn’t look away either.

Her eyes studying Jinsoul’s features up close. Their lips parted as they waited for someone to say something. _Anything._

Sooyoung wanted to run, back away, do anything but what she did at that moment. But she couldn’t. Not with Jinsoul staring back at her. Waiting for something she didn’t know she even wanted. Not until Sooyoung thought about it. Her heart skipped a beat. 

Sooyoung wanted to kiss _her_. And badly. 

Sooyoung eagerly pressed her lips against Jinsoul’s. And at first, she didn’t feel Jinsoul kissing back. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she didn’t expect it to actually happen. Despite the tension that was building, she didn’t expect Sooyoung to act on it. Pressing her soft lips against hers, eagerly wanting her to kiss back. 

“S-Sorry… I—“ Sooyoung began, backing away only to be pulled back by soft hands. Jinsoul wasn’t eager, her kisses weren’t as desperate. She was soft, and gentle, completely different from the way the other girl kissed her. She didn’t know how long they were kissing for, or how she ended up in Sooyoung’s lap, running her hands through her hair and feeling those hands running down her back. 

But it happened, and there was no turning back now. Her hips moving on their own against Sooyoung as she tried her hardest to control what she was feeling. And she moaned aloud as she stored the information in her head at the thoughts Sooyoung had. 

How she wanted to take off her clothes, and just lay her down on this couch and make her feel good. And fuck Jinsoul wanted that too. She was sure she hadn’t wanted anything more in her life than what Sooyoung was thinking. Those dirty thoughts that Sooyoung dared to ever speak. 

She felt Sooyoung’s soft fingertips against her skin as she moved to remove her shirt. Her fingers grasping at the rim of it, while still kissing Jinsoul, pressing into her as she felt her skin against hers. 

They were completely lost in each other. So lost in each other, that they didn’t hear the door open. 

“Well— I’ll be damned.” Doyeon said with a smile on her face. Calmly taking her shoes off. 

The girls quickly separated, Jinsoul falling to the floor from how quickly she jumped off of Sooyoung’s lap. Fixing her hair and jumping back up to stand on her two feet. Her face flushed as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “I um—“

“Don’t worry. I don’t judge… I’ll give you two some privacy. God knows you need it.” Doyeon teased, laughing as she went to her room. Leaving the two stunned in silence. 

When Jinsoul turned around, she could see how flushed Sooyoung was. How did things get out of hand so quickly? 

“Jinsoul I’m sorry.” Sooyoung said quickly, breaking Jinsoul’s heart in the process. What did she have to be sorry for? She didn’t do anything wrong.

“I-I shouldn’t have done that. You have your own problems and shit and I just added onto that being an idiot and—“

Jinsoul quickly walked over to her, nearly tripping over her feet as she scrambled to the panicking girl. “Sooyoung it’s okay. It’s okay..” That was all she said. It was all she really could say. How do you even explain something like that? That wasn’t an ordinary kiss. Where you just peck them and keep it moving. No, there was tongue involved, hands.. on body parts. _Sacred_ , body parts. 

“But you should probably go. To clear your head a little bit.” She suggested, and Sooyoung believed her.

“Jinsoul i’m really sorry.” 

_“It’s okay.”_

Lie. Jung Jinsoul was a liar.

* * *

Things weren’t okay after that. At least to Sooyoung they weren’t. She noticed everything. Every change in detail. And although she was sure it was unhealthy, she couldn’t help it. Jinsoul would make eye contact with her, but not for long. Just a simple glimpse, and she’d keep moving. Pretending she didn’t even see her. Almost as if it pained her to even look in Sooyoung’s direction.

“You okay?” Heejin asked, breaking Sooyoung from her thoughts.

Sooyoung shook her head, flipping the page in her sketchbook. “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks Heej.” Sooyoung smiled. Even though it was forced. Heejin didn’t buy it, but she didn’t want to push either. 

“You know you can talk to me right?” 

“I know.. thanks again.” 

“Is this about Jinsoul?” And the second Heejin asked that, she felt frozen into place at the way Sooyoung looked up at her. The gaze wasn’t harsh, but there was more sadness than anything. 

“No. It’s not about anything Heejin. Don’t go prying into anything you don’t even fucking understand.” Sooyoung snapped, balling up her fists and immediately feeling herself filled with guilt. Heejin looked saddened by the outburst. Sooyoung regret her actions almost instantly. “I’m sorry… I know you’re just trying to help.” 

“You’re right. I don’t understand. Because neither of you speak to your friends about anything that happens and you expect us to know what the hell is going on.” Heejin said angrily, standing up and slamming her empty tray onto the table. “So yeah, I am trying to help, because I care. But if you don’t want that, then I’ll try my best to stop.” 

Sooyoung didn’t even know what to say. She just sat in place with her jaw dropped. Heejin rarely had outbursts, so it was shocking to see. Hyunjin slowly got up after, tossing her bag over her shoulder. “Ooooooo…. you’re in trouble now.” She said, walking away while maintaining eye contact with Sooyoung. 

Sooyoung just sighed, slamming her book shut and also grabbing her things. “Hey. Don’t be too upset, this will all blow over eventually. Just relax.” Yoojung spoke calmly, seeing how frustrated the taller girl was. Lisa didn’t say a word, just kept sipping on her drink. 

While Sooyoung walked around campus, she spotted a familiar face. 

Jungeun removed her airpods when she saw someone standing in front of her. Her eyes slowly trailing up until she saw someone looking back at her. It was Sooyoung, smiling softly back at her. “Hi.. can I sit with you?” She questioned, gesturing to the area beside her. Jungeun straightened herself up, nodding nervously.

“Yeah. Of course.” She patted the spot beside her, scooting over slightly to give Sooyoung more room. She felt butterflies when Sooyoung sat beside her, her arm brushing against hers and their shoulders slightly touching. “You look tired.”

Sooyoung laughed. She wouldn’t exactly say she was tired. “It’s just been a long day and I feel like it hasn’t even really started yet.” Jungeun laughed too. 

“I feel that.” Jungeun laughed. She sat quietly for a moment, before suggesting a quick fix. “Maybe you just need something to do that can loosen you up.” 

Sooyoung looked to her side, sending chills down Jungeun’s spine. Being this close to Sooyoung was making her feel all warm inside. She was doing a good job at keeping herself from smiling. “Like what?”

“Come to a party with me.” 

“A party?” 

Jungeun nodded. Twisting her body so she could properly face Sooyoung. Her features are even more beautiful with this angle and lighting on her. “Yeah. You don’t have to. I just figured you’d want something fun to do.” 

“You think I like partying just to get away from my problems?” Sooyoung eyed her, making Jungeun scramble to find the right words to say.

“N-No, that isn’t what I meant. I just figured—“

“I’m just fucking around.” Sooyoung laughed, holding her stomach because of the look on Jungeun’s face. “I’ll go. If that’s what you want.” 

She couldn’t tell if that was some sort of trick question or if she was looking too far into it. But either way, it made her heart flutter. Her fingers nervously picked at the grass beside her. “Yeah. It’s what I want.” They talked a little longer, and from across the yard, Jinsoul anxiously watched them. Her eyes trained on the way Sooyoung smiled and laughed. How her chest moved up and down when she laughed really hard, along with the adorable nose scrunch she did. 

Jinsoul stared and stared, until she physically couldn’t bare to anymore. The moment she walked away, Sooyoung looked up. Watching the girl walking down the opposite path, hair bouncing and head held high.

* * *

“Oh you made it?” Haseul shouted, handing her a cup. Sooyoung looked into it, grimacing at the smell. “Smells weird, tastes good.” 

“Yeah I think I’m going to pass on this one friend.” Sooyoung muttered, placing the cup back into Haseul’s hand. She heard a scoff come from the shorter girl. Haseul held her hand, leading her to the kitchen where the drinks were. Haseul quickly made her a drink, squeezing different things into Sooyoung’s cup. She was going to school for mixology as well as cooking. Except cooking was more of a side goal for her. 

“This is more up your alley. Sweet.” She winked, watching as Sooyoung took a sip. “So— what brings you here, considering I didn’t invite you..” 

Sooyoung was about to answer, but she felt an arm snake around her back. And a head lean gently against her shoulder. “She’s with me.” Jungeun said loudly over the music. Sooyoung brought the cup back up to her lips and winked at Haseul, following the other girl out of the kitchen. 

“What are you drinking?” 

“Not sure.. Haseul made me something.” 

Jungeun grabbed the cup, downing the remaining contents inside of it. She blinked a few times. “Ah, a margarita. Aren’t you a bit too hardcore to be drinking those childish things?” 

Sooyoung felt embarrassed now. “I mean—“ 

“Try this.” Jungeun passed her a shot glass with a dark liquid in it. She lifted up her shot glass too. “Cheers. After you.” She smirked, seeing Sooyoung slowly raise the glass to her lips. She downed it, Jungeun followed behind, giggling at the face Sooyoung made. “Let’s dance.” She slurred, pulling Sooyoung out onto the floor.

She followed her onto the floor, seeing a glimmer in her eyes when she turned around. Her hand still intertwined with Sooyoung’s still, as she slowly guided it down to her waist. “Didn’t see you as much of a dancer Ms. Jungeun.” 

Jungeun shyly lowered her head, laughing in the process of it all. “I like to dance. But usually with others.” 

“Or just me.” Sooyoung teased, but she was surprised to see that those words made Jungeun go quite silent. Flustered by how close they were but still slightly confident with the alcohol in her system. 

“You’re a cocky one aren’t you?” Jungeun smiled, twirling as Sooyoung guided her into her arms. Feeling Sooyoung pull her closer. Her back pressed against her front and her hands still on her waist. She was having fun. Jungeun’s petite frame in Sooyoung’s arms. 

For a second Sooyoung felt bad. Her mind reminded her of the girl she thought about every single day of her life. But she was getting drunk, and she was having fun. And she was here with Jungeun. The girl who invited her personally. So just for the night, she pushed it to the back of her mind, and decided to have fun. She slowly moved Jungeun’s hair to the side, placing her lips against her neck and letting her hands roam the body of the girl in front of her. 

And despite how good it felt, Jungeun stopped her, even if it took everything in her to do so. “Let’s drink some more.” She suggested, dragging Sooyoung to the kitchen once again. She poured them two more shots, both of them downing it quickly. Sooyoung pulled her into a kiss, and Jungeun froze, placing her hands onto Sooyoung’s as she kissed her back.

“S-Sooyoung.. wait—“ Jungeun backed away. “I think we should head home.. if you plan on taking this any further.” Yeah, the alcohol was definitely getting to her. And thank god the dorms were close by because neither of them could drive in this state, nor did she plan to. The night air was cold, but they laughed and playfully pushed each other around on the way there. Jungeun unlocked the door to the dorm, feeling Sooyoung close to her as she pushed the door open quietly. She turned around, gesturing for Sooyoung to stay quiet, which just made the older girl giggle. 

Her roommate was asleep on the couch. Or so she thought. She was too drunk to notice anyway. She dragged her to the room, locking the door and quickly removing her shirt. Sooyoung kissed her in between each article of clothing being removed, laughing and smiling the entire time. The alcohol and atmosphere made her completely forget about Jinsoul.

Just for tonight.

Sooyoung lifted the girl, placing her onto the bed and kissing her softly as their exposed chests pressed against each other. The night was filled with hushed whispers and quiet moans, as Jungeun did everything in her power to not fall for Sooyoung even more. She knew when the sun rose, they wouldn’t speak of this again. Sooyoung would go back to doing her, and Jungeun would go back to doing her. And even though it felt so good to have Sooyoung marking her up, claiming her and pressing her fingers _exactly_ where she wanted them, she knew it wouldn’t last. 

And if it wasn’t for the mind blowing orgasms, she would’ve scolded herself. But how could she? Sooyoung was perfect, or so she thought. Who would deny a night like this with someone like her? It was pathetic, but she couldn’t stop it. And she wouldn’t.

* * *

Sooyoung held Jungeun until she fell asleep. Her hair clinging to her sweaty forehead, and the sheets stuck to her back slightly. She sighed deeply, gently removing herself from Jungeun’s hold, and pulling out her phone. She was still drunk. Apart of her screaming not to do what she was going to do, but she did it anyway. 

**Sooyoung (2:45 am) : are u sleep ?**

**Sooyoung (2:50 am) : of course u are.. u never sty. Awke this late anywyays**

**Jinsoul (2:51 am) : Sooyoung are you drunk?**

Jinsoul sat up in her bed. The sound of her phone going off disturbing her peace. But when she saw it was Sooyoung, she relaxed significantly. Smiling like a fool at her phone screen. Until she realized she was drunk texting her.

**Sooyoung (2:55 am) : lil bit**

**Sooyoung (2:56 am) : i miss you**

**Sooyoung (2:56 am) : do you miss me?**

**Sooyoung (2:56 am) : dont answr that**

**Sooyoung (2:58 am) : goodnight jung jinsoul**

Jinsoul didn’t respond. She’d pretend she fell asleep or something. She couldn’t face a drunk Sooyoung. She couldn’t even face a sober Sooyoung. Let alone an extremely confident and emotional Sooyoung. She couldn’t help but think about her. Because truthfully she did miss her. If not more, just the same. 

**Sooyoung (3:30 am) : lets get coffee or slmething tomorrow. I’ll pay for u anndme both.**

Jinsoul smiled at her screen, throwing her head back onto the pillow as she thought about being around Sooyoung again. She couldn’t pass up on an opportunity to be in her presence. Sooyoung’s energy was radiant, even though she seemed to be quite awkward around Jinsoul.. for obvious reasons. If it wasn’t clear before, it was definitely clear now. Sooyoung definitely had feelings of some sort for the girl. Jinsoul was in denial at first.

She thought maybe she was reading too far into it. Sooyoung was nice to everyone, her being nice to Jinsoul was no different. At least that’s what she tried to convince herself to believe. She locked her phone and went to bed, a pretty smile on her face as she drifted off to sleep. 

That next morning, Jungeun was the first to wake up, struggling to open her eyes with the light blinding her through the window. 

The blanket pulled up just enough to cover her exposed chest. Sooyoung still fast asleep with the blanket only covering her lower half as she lay on her stomach. Face in the pillow and hands above her head. Jungeun couldn’t help but smile to herself. Suddenly becoming flustered at the state of Sooyoung’s back. Whatever Sooyoung did last night must’ve been _good_. 

She nearly jumped out of the bed at the sound of Sooyoung’s alarm going off, and her panic as she jumped to turn it off. She was still naked, but she faced the other way, rubbing at her temples. The memories from last night slowly coming back to her. “Good morning Sooyoung.. are you okay?” She heard Jungeun ask, and she opened her eyes. Not even budging for a second.

_”Shit.”_ She muttered to herself. She put on her shirt quickly. Getting up to find her underwear and pants. “Yeah, I’m fine! Just— need to go to work. Totally forgot I was scheduled today.” That wasn’t a complete lie though. She had work. But it certainly wasn’t now, but rather in 5 hours. It was really early in the morning. 

She pulled her pants up and looked back at the girl on the bed and god did she look gorgeous. But she felt guilty for looking. For taking advantage of Jungeun last night, knowing how the other girl obviously felt about her. “Uh, where’s your bathroom?” 

“Down the hall, on the right.” Jungeun pointed, and Sooyoung nodded before quickly leaving to find it. She was content for a moment, laying in the bed as Sooyoung’s scent still lingered in the sheets. She heard Sooyoung’s message ringer go off, and her eyes darted over out of instinct. She hated the way her heart dropped when she saw Jinsoul’s name show up on the screen. A heart at the end of her name in Sooyoung’s phone. She scoffed, rolling her eyes and trying to remain calm. 

Her eyes darted to the door, and then back to Sooyoung’s phone. She groaned at how pathetic she had become, but she couldn’t help it. She reached over to grab Sooyoung’s phone, nearly getting the damned thing locked permanently after failing to unlock it so many times. Suddenly the room door opened, and Jungeun tossed the phone. The sound of it hitting the floor alarming Sooyoung.

“Jungeun..” She groaned, walking over to it as the girl on the bed tried to play off that she was fixing the blankets.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it Sooyoung.” She apologized, standing up to lean in for a kiss, which was swiftly avoided as Sooyoung moved her head back slightly and unlocked her phone. Leaving Jungeun standing in place with a dumbfounded expression. 

“Damn it. I really have to go Jungeun.” Sooyoung said, fixing her pants and rushing to leave. 

In the midst of Sooyoung fixing herself up, Jungeun also moved to put some clothes on. A long shirt and some underwear at least. There was also a knock on the door, that totally went over Sooyoung’s head as she moved down the hall. 

The girl that rested on the couch opened the door, her eyes widening when she saw Jinsoul looking back at her. “Oh shit— hey Jinsoul! Just give me a second, I’ll go grab that book you let me borrow.” She said, running to her room to grab it, nearly bumping into Sooyoung on the way. 

Sooyoung froze in her tracks when she turned the corner, Jinsoul looking directly back at her. The world stopped as if they were in some movie. Jinsoul gently placed her hands in her pockets, smiling softly at the girl in front of her. “If I’d known you were here, I would have just said to meet me here so we can go and get—“

“Sooyoung!” Jungeun shouted down the hall. “You forgot your bra.” She said out of breath, handing it to Sooyoung who had gone pale in the face. She closed her eyes and exhaled.

“Thank you Jungeun… really, thank you.” 

She slowly turned to see Jinsoul looking at the both of them. An obvious confusion in her eyes as she pieced it all together. The tension growing every second that they all stood there. “Oh hi Jinsoul, I had no clue you were coming.” 

“Yeah I bet. So since when were you two a —“ She gestured between the two of them, trying to hide her jealousy as she spoke. And the betrayal she felt, even if it was just for a split second or even if it wasn’t her right to feel that way. 

“We’re not a thing.” Sooyoung stated clearly, and Jungeun felt her heart drop. But before she could even get another word the other girl returned with Jinsoul’s book. She didn’t even notice the tension between the three, excitedly bouncing over to Jinsoul.

“There ya go! Still looking brand new.” 

“As I expected.” Jinsoul smiled, her eyes finally leaving Sooyoung’s and looking at the book in her hand. “If you ever need it again just let me know. You know I’m always reachable.” She said, just as her eyes darted back to Sooyoung. Her heart aching at the marks all over Jungeun’s chest and neck.

“See you for coffee in an hour Sooyoung.” Jinsoul said, turning around and leaving. She sighed, grabbing the bra from Jungeun’s hand and tucking it into her pocket. 

“I thought you had work.” 

“Not— now… Jungeun. Seriously you’ve done enough.” Sooyoung was clearly annoyed now.

“What? I haven’t even done anything..” 

“If you’re going to attempt to ruin every slight relationship I have with people then maybe we shouldn’t have sex again. You’re too needy..” 

“Sooyoung what? You’re the one that initiated the sex. Did you completely forget or did your blinding love for Jinsoul suddenly come back and make you once again look like the idiot who cuts off everyone for someone who doesn’t even give a fuck about her?” 

That stung. Badly. Sooyoung just shook her head. Her head was throbbing. She really wasn’t in the state to fight anyone. “Jungeun I’m sorry.. what I said was really out of line.” 

“You’re damn right it was. But It’s okay. Here’s the thing though Sooyoung. If you’re going to just.. use me for sex… then I don’t want to speak to you or be around you anymore.” She stated clearly, her head hanging low and her fists balled up loosely. “I’ve been in this position before. I won’t give someone else the power to hurt me again.” 

“Jungeun—“ Sooyoung took a step closer, as Jungeun took a small step back.

“Just.. think about it? At least.. do that for me. So I don’t go chasing after you like some headless chicken.” Her voice was much calmer now. “Enjoy your coffee date.” She stood on her tippy toes slightly, kissing Sooyoung on the lips. The taller girl just smiled sadly, leaving without another word.

Jungeun sighed loudly, locking the door and turning around to see her roommate confused. 

“Don’t even ask.”

* * *

Sooyoung waited patiently in the coffee shop for the other girl. Anxiously tapping her fingers onto the table. Her eyes darting up when she saw someone walking towards the table. Jinsoul removed her bag, placing it in the empty area of the booth. Sooyoung didn’t even know what to say. 

Should she address what happened? Should she explain to Jinsoul that it was just a night full of drunk fun. Should she admit her feelings for her finally? Should she stay quiet? Jinsoul took one simple look at her.

“I already know what you’re thinking.” Jinsoul suddenly said, Sooyoung tilted her head slightly. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. We don’t have to talk about what happened earlier.. it’s in the past and you’re not obligated to tell me anything.” She simply said. 

Huh, so she did know what Sooyoung was thinking. “Thanks.. I honestly don’t even know what I would have said.” 

“Yeah I bet.” 

“Were you jealous?” Sooyoung teased, and she was surprised to see those simple words flustered Jinsoul a little bit. She cleared her throat and sat up properly.

“Will it make you happy if I say yes?” 

Sooyoung nodded cutely. “Well… you’re cute.” Jinsoul admitted. “But I’m not going to boost your ego anymore than you need.” 

Sooyoung sat back in her seat. “Fair enough.” She ordered them something. But it wasn’t coffee, instead it was a frozen yogurt treat. “It’s a bit warm today.. so I figured you’d want something to cool you down.” 

“I like the way you think.” Jinsoul winked. Sooyoung felt conflicted at the moment. Despite her constantly trying to convince herself that it was all fun last night, she can’t deny the fact she felt a little something for Jungeun. And not just physically but emotionally. Sooyoung toyed around with her yogurt. Twirling the spoon around the white bowl. 

“What is it?” 

Sooyoung leaned up, shaking her head. “What?” 

“You seem like you have something to say.” Jinsoul already knew what it was. But she wondered if Sooyoung had the guts to speak on it. 

She waited for a moment, deciding if she was going to speak or not. “I think I like Jungeun. But—“

“But?” Jinsoul encouraged.

“There’s this other girl.” 

_Jinsoul_

“I mean. It isn’t really getting anywhere, and it probably won’t ever get anywhere but, I can’t help but just think about it. Just holding onto that small possibility ya know?”

“I feel the same way.” Jinsoul spoke, in a trance as she watched Sooyoung speaking.

“Really? Who?” Jinsoul quickly snapped out of it. Eating some of her frozen yogurt. 

“Well I meant to say I’ve been in a situation like that too..” 

Sooyoung smiled sadly. “Any advice?” 

Jinsoul thought long and hard before deciding if she wanted to answer or not. Because helping Sooyoung would mean letting her go, but holding her when things were getting nowhere was quite selfish. But in the end, Jinsoul was the good one. Or so she thought. 

“I say go for the one you have more of a chance with. Why waste a better chance with someone who clearly likes you on someone who doesn’t seem to be into you that much?” 

Sooyoung didn’t like that answer. But Jinsoul was right. She slowly lowered her head, and then lifted it back up. Her eyes slightly watered until she blinked away the tears that welled in her eyes. “Thank you Jinsoul.”

_But I still love you._

“You’re welcome Sooyoung.”

* * *

After that talk they had a few weeks ago, Sooyoung made her way back onto Jungeun’s good side. Doing her best to gain her trust back. And like Jinsoul advised, she gave Jungeun a chance. Truthfully she liked Jungeun. She was cute, dorky, a bit quiet at times but a total sweetheart. She was also really clingy, a trait Sooyoung also seemed to possess. 

Jinsoul had also gotten back with her boyfriend. They’d manage to fix things between them, and although Jinsoul really liked him, she couldn’t help but feel her heart ripped to shreds when she’d see Sooyoung. Pampering the girl underneath a tree on campus. For once in her life she wished Sooyoung would just go back to her own school. 

“Seems like Jungeun got what she’s been wanting for so long.” Lisa pointed out, and Jinsoul looked up from her book. Looking in the direction they all looked in. Their eyes trained on the two girls cuddling up under the tree, completely lost in each other. Giggling and smiling cheerfully as their books rested in their laps. 

“She seems happy.” Heejin pointed out. “Both of them.” She smiled now. All she really wanted was for Sooyoung to be happy. She knew how hung up on Jinsoul she was. So it was nice to see her finally moving onto someone else for once. 

Jinsoul started packing her things. “I’ll catch you guys later.” 

“What? Where are you going? You just got here?” Heejin frowned. 

Lisa smirked at the girl that frantically stood up. “Something came up. Bye guys.” She quickly spoke.

“Okayyy bye. Love you!” Heejin shouted, turning back around to see Sooyoung looking back at her with an unreadable expression on her face.

* * *

It had been a month of Jungeun and Sooyoung being together now. And she was actually really happy. She had also gotten a new haircut. Jungeun told her it looked really good on her, even though Sooyoung was a bit worried making the decision at first. But she was content with the outcome.

She went from thinking about Jinsoul everyday, to thinking about her only when she crossed her path. It was weird. She never thought she’d live a life where she didn’t think of Jinsoul every waking moment of her life. But now the roles were reversed. 

Jinsoul was thinking of Sooyoung every waking moment of her life now. Her jealousy caused an unexplainable ache in her chest when she saw how Sooyoung treated Jungeun. So sweet, so gentle. That should’ve been her. She should be the one Sooyoung was taking care of. Holding her hands and kissing the back of them softly while gazing into her eyes. 

“Yeah. I already put in the reservation for tonight.” Sooyoung spoke, standing behind the counter at the art shop. “Definitely. Thanks. Bye bye.” She smiled, hanging up the phone. She heard the bell as a customer stepped in, not even looking up from her sketchbook on the counter. She actually had someone else working in the shop with her today, so she wasn’t all alone for once. 

“Welcome.” She excitedly said, not even looking up for a second. “Can I help you?” 

“As a matter of fact I think you can.” She heard Jinsoul say, and her eyes shot up. Taken aback by her unwavering beauty. Her hair was pushed to one side, exposing her neck and collarbone. Sooyoung swallowed, looking away quickly.

“Jinsoul— how are you? Do you need something?” 

Sooyoung walked around the counter, leaning against it. “Um.. actually— I just came here to talk to you.” She admitted, and Sooyoung’s mouth slightly parted in shock. 

“Uhh.. is something wrong?”

“No it’s just… how are you Sooyoung? I really like the new haircut. It’s really pretty on you.”

“Thank you.. and I’m good. Better than ever actually.” 

“Still a party girl?” Jinsoul teased, following the girl as she walked the aisles of the store.

“Hmmm… not so much.” She giggled, and Jinsoul forgot how much she missed hearing that. She also took in the cute white sweater Sooyoung wore and the burgundy apron she wore on top of it. Her jeans were a bit worn out with some white paint streaks on it. Jinsoul also laughed.

“So you wanted to talk to me?” 

Jinsoul paused for a second. “Actually yeah.. but— someplace more… private?” 

“Oh… well okay.” She gestured for Jinsoul to follow. “Kai— watch over the store for me.” 

“Got it!” He shouted back, sweeping the floors. 

Sooyoung walked to the back, shutting the office door behind her and sitting onto the desk. Jinsoul stood awkwardly, like she had just been called down to the principal's office. “Well— what is it?” 

“I have a confession.” 

Suddenly it became hard to breath in this atmosphere as she waited patiently for Jinsoul to speak or make a move. “I know this is a bad time and you’re probably going to hate me but—“

“Is this about Jungeun?” 

“What?”

“Or is this about my mom finding your used underwear at my place—“

“No it’s not about— wait I left underwear at your place?” Jinsoul quickly circled back around to that. 

“Spit it out Jung Jinsoul.” Sooyoung said sternly. 

She studied Sooyoung. She could see how nervous she was. How uneasy she looked, waiting for Jinsoul to just do _something_.

_She loves me._

_Impossible._

_Don’t be stupid Sooyoung._

_You have a girlfriend. Remember?_

“I need you to calm down Sooyoung. You’re shaking.” She slowly moved over to her, gently grabbing her hands and holding them in hers. Sooyoung watched how Jinsoul gently clasped their hands together, and then back up to see those brown orbs looking back at her. Shimmering in the light as she patiently searched for a reaction from Sooyoung. 

They were terribly close to each other. This had to qualify as some form of cheating. But it was almost as if Jinsoul had Sooyoung under some sort of spell. Trapping her in her gaze, making her want more. 

“Your hands are cold.” Jinsoul spoke softly, her lips so close Sooyoung could feel the warmth hitting her closed ones. “Sooyoung… you’re so beautiful.” Jinsoul whispered, pressing her lips against Sooyoung’s. And like clockwork, she felt Sooyoung’s hands on her lower back. Encouraging her to come closer, to kiss her harder, to touch her. Her legs spread slightly so Jinsoul could comfortably nestle in between them, running her hands through her soft hair. 

Biting down so hard onto Sooyoung’s bottom lip that she had drawn blood, emitting a moan from the girl on the desk. And although she wanted this so badly, she regretted ever coming here and doing this. It was selfish, and she had let her feelings cloud her judgement and her morals. So she pulled away, even though Sooyoung had just gotten to the really good part. Sucking at her exposed collarbone, hearing Jinsoul moan into her ear.

“Wait— Sooyoung… wait.” Jinsoul whined.

“Hmm?” Sooyoung questioned, kissing Jinsoul again. 

“Sooyoung stop—“ Jinsoul gently pushed her off, walking away and running her hands through her hair. Sooyoung was on the desk, panting and her hair a mess. 

“Seriously Jinsoul?” Sooyoung questioned, moving off of the desk. “What the fuck do you want from me?” 

“What are you talking about?”

“Y-You come in here, all over me. Knowing I’m in a relationship with _your_ friend, and then you push me off like I was the one who fucking started it!” She said angrily. She couldn’t help the anger she felt. She felt as if she was finally moving on from this girl, or at least for a while. 

“You can’t just come in here and touch me and kiss me whenever you fucking want because you know that I’ll let you—

“Sooyoung it’s not like that..” Jinsoul tried to defend, but Sooyoung was speaking over her.

“No— you don’t get to come in here, and fuck up my progress and then push me away from you Jinsoul. I didn’t make you kiss me. I didn’t tell you to come here. You did that. You _kissed_ me, and you _touched_ me.” She said, on the verge of tears. “Not the other way around.” 

“Sooyoung I—

“I just don’t get what the fuck you—“ 

Jinsoul placed her lips against Sooyoung’s again, her hands placed roughly on the back of her neck. “Sooyoung. I fucking love you okay? I always have. It’s just— It’s complicated.” 

“What’s complicated about loving me Jinsoul?” Sooyoung panted, watching how distraught Jinsoul seemed.

“It’s not you… Sooyoung.” 

Sooyoung scoffed, turning away. 

“I just love you too much to be with you..” 

Sooyoung stood in place, staring at the wall. “Jinsoul what are you getting at?” 

“Sooyoung, I’m a mind reader.” She confessed, her eyes closed.

Sooyoung turned around, looking at the girl as she stood in the middle of the room. Sooyoung started laughing hysterically. “Are you fucking serious?” She questioned, still smiling. “No seriously, do you think I’m a fucking joke?” 

“Sooyoung I’m not joking. I can read minds.” 

“Bullshit.”

“I can prove it!” She quickly moved towards the taller girl. “Just— look at me.” 

Sooyoung laughed, even rolled her eyes. But she followed Jinsoul’s instructions. She looked at her, and her hostility instantly disappeared. “And just.. think, and I’ll tell you everything you’re thinking the second you think of it.” 

_My friend is probably worried_

“He’ll be fine. He can handle the store.” Jinsoul responded verbally. 

Sooyoung still was in denial. 

_I made a reservation earlier today_

“I’m assuming for you and Jungeun.” 

Sooyoung felt her legs going weak the longer this went on. 

_You have really pretty eyes_

“Your eyes are prettier.” She smiled softly.

_I love you_

“I love you too Sooyoung.” Jinsoul said. And Sooyoung quickly moved away. Shaking her head in disbelief.

“I-I need to go.” She said quickly. 

“Sooyoung wait, just let me explain myself please—“

“And you… you need to just— stay away from me for a while okay? I have to go and admit to my girlfriend that I cheated on her.” Sooyoung sighed. “You should go as well.” 

“Sooyoung—

“Jinsoul I can’t. This is just… today has been a whole fucking lot okay? And it hasn’t even ended yet so just… seriously go.” She spoke. Her voice was stern but Jinsoul could tell it was wavering slightly, as if she was about to cry any moment now. 

“Okay…” She sadly said, walking by Sooyoung out the door. Jinsoul quickly left the store and Kai came from one of the aisles with a confused expression.

“Can you close today? An emergency came up.” 

Kai nodded. “Of course. Do you need anything?” 

“I need a fucking labotomy.” 

Kai laughed at that. Patting her shoulder. “Can’t help you with that one my friend. But I can help you by closing this shop.” He turned around for a brief moment. “Good luck with your emergency. I hope everything turns out well.” He smiled reassuringly.

“Me too.”

* * *

Jinsoul walked home in the rain, holding herself as the cold water hit her skin and drenched her from head to toe. When she got inside, Doyeon was on the couch with two others. She ignored their presence, but they noticed hers. Especially Yoojung.

“Jinsoul?” Doyeon questioned. Jumping up the second she noticed how quickly she walked down the hall. “I’ll be back. You two keep going over the lab notes.” 

Doyeon quickly went to Jinsoul’s room, shutting the door and locking it. “You’re a fucking mess.” Doyeon pointed out, drying her face off with a towel. “What the hell happened?” 

Jinsoul tried to speak, but everything came out scrambled and incoherent. And her voice was shaky and she was hyperventilating. Doyeon was extremely worried now, as she’d never heard or seen Jinsoul in such a state. 

“Breatheeeee.” Doyeon gently spoke. “It’s okay.” 

Jinsoul wiped her eyes. “I told Sooyoung.” 

“About what? Your feelings for her?” Doyeon questioned, and Jinsoul laughed ironically.

“Everything.”

Doyeon froze.

“Like… _everything_?” 

“ _Everything_.” 

“Oh Jinsoul…” She quietly said, pulling her into a hug. 

“She probably thinks i’m a fucking freak, god. I ruined everything.” She gripped tightly onto Doyeon, sobbing into her chest and wetting her shirt. Shaking at a disturbing rate. 

“We’ll figure it out.” Doyeon rubbed her back gently. “ _You’ll_ figure it out.” 

And while Jinsoul sobbed in Doyeon’s arms, Sooyoung sobbed in the front seat of the car she was in. In a parking lot at some grocery store. The rain pouring down onto the car as she cried to herself, thinking about how not only this ruined her friendship but her relationship with Jungeun. She had broken her trust, even if she didn’t exactly initiate anything. She gave in regardless, while she was a taken woman. She was angry at Jinsoul.

She was hurt by not just her but what was to come. It was far too much to handle. All of the emotions welling up in her chest at once and making her want to scream. But she didn’t scream, she just cried and cried for what seemed like hours. She couldn’t face Jungeun. Not today. Not tomorrow. Honestly, probably never.

**Author's Note:**

> Another story I’ll take forever to update yayyy. I hope you all enjoyed though and I’m open to any questions or comments 😊


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